I was chatting with Suzanne tonight and I had her laughing, as usual. I’m so funny to her. Maybe she’s easily amused at 10 pm, I don’t know. Maybe you can tell me.
(The baby and her stash: multiple pacis, a drink and her banana).
Suzanne: I need a pep talk to start my blogher review.
me: ok.
you can do it, yes you can. if suzanne can’t do it, no one can!
Suzanne: 
you at least took the pain out of it for me.
me: a tylenol could have done that
Suzanne: but it wouldn’t have made me smile.
me: what are you reviewing?
Suzanne: why do i dread this so much?
some crystal light little insta drink things.
i hate failure.
i want to be perfect.
there.
me: ok, i know this sounds silly, you write all the time, but it helps me
Suzanne: i said it.
me: make an outliine.
Suzanne: okay, i’m listening.
me: i’m serious. limit yourself to 3 words per line. I. crystal light. 1. tastes great 2. pretty color 3. don’t have to share with kids
this will keep you on track and get you jumpstarted.
i broke my own rule on #3 but i was trying to be funny
Suzanne: yeah, i’m followin’.
me: then when you write it, break the outline rules. the outline is just to get the ideas pumping. use it if you need to, but if it feels too restricting, abandon it.
Suzanne: gotcha.
that does help.
i hate staring at a blank screen.
me: i’m a wealth of information
Suzanne:
indeed you are.
i’ll let you know if i’m stuck again. i’m sure you can talk me out.
or give me a chocolate recipe.
me: listening to pearl yodel on beverly hillbillies
yes, i can.
Suzanne:
me: chocolate sounds good right now.
Suzanne: i have some new oreo cream chocolate covered cookie things.
have you tried ‘em?
oh my.
me: no. don’t like store bought cookies
Suzanne: are you kidding me?
i forget who i’m talking to.
me: i know
the freak
i found out another freaky thing about me tonight.
Suzanne: i’m with ya on most store bought cookies, but oreos don’t technically count as a cookie.
yeah?
me: one thigh is bigger than the other.
Suzanne: hahahaha!
whatever.
me: i keep putting on pants and one leg is always tighter.
Suzanne: you’re like seinfeld.
me: i know. i’m a seinfeld show every day
Suzanne: it’s always something.
me: i know
Suzanne:
Suzanne: she smells like soup, he’s a close talker, she has man-hands, the wrong light, one thigh’s bigger than the other…
matt and i have about every episode memorized.
me: some people really do smell like soup
or grandma powder
Suzanne: hahahaha!
“grandma powder”
crackin’ me up.
me: some people smell like mustard
no pickles
i get them mixed up. hamburger ruinations
Suzanne: and THIS is why i ask you to give me a pep talk.
hahahaha
me: it doesn’t really seem like a pep talk.
more like a bizarre blog post
Suzanne: trying to stifle my laughter for my whole sleeping house.
me: i don’t have a post tonight. maybe i could copy and paste this.
Suzanne: pep talk, distraction, whatever it loosened me up to not worry so much about crystal light.
go for it.
think anyone else will find it nearly as funny as we do?
