1. I decided to take my sister out for her birthday today which involved me driving me, my 4 kids, my mom and aunt over an hour to the big city so we could meet her at Olive Garden and eat. We arrived right on time at Olive Garden ON THE WRONG SIDE OF TOWN. I had to call her and explain my FIRST driving mistake of the day and tell her we would be a few minutes late.
2. We arrived, finally, at the right location and stuffed ourselves. We had a great lunch. Then I forced my sister to make a phone call and pretend she was me to this guy advertising guinea pigs for sale on Craigslist. I did it because (and this is the only reason, certainly not because I have any kind of phone phobia) she knows her way around better than I do and knew what questions to ask in regards to how to get to his house from where we were.
3. We said goodbye and left Olive Garden. I headed back the way we came, a bit of an unfamiliar route to me when I could have gone the way that I knew, but my mind was blown (let’s just get that out of the way right now. I had no brain at all today). About 5 miles down the road I realized I had forgotten to call Ruthanne. We had agreed to meet so I could give her her package from the session I did for her. I called her, wee turned the van around and ended up meeting at Target.
4. We left again headed toward guinea pigs, but I could not find the 430 exit. (Turns out it is a tiny, hidden road disguised as a hotel entrance.) We drove around in circles a few frustrating times before I called my sister and got headed in the right direction.
5. The kids and my aunt were playing the Alphabet game. I got involved. I found G in the word Green on a billboard promptly missed my exit. I had to drive 12 more miles headed towards Fort Smith before I could get exit and turn around. Then I could not figure out how to get back where I was supposed to be. Called my sister again frustrated and she assured me I was so close, so close to the right place. Just hang on and keep going. (to her credit she answered every single one of my calls today~ not that we are a phone phobic family or anything.)
6. I finally make the exit that puts me back where things are starting to look familiar again. I cross the Arkansas river bridge and begin looking for my next exit. To our great surprise and delight I find it. I grab my directions to the house and turn right. My aunt makes the fatal statement, “I think we’re going to find it now!” We search and search for the road that is supposed to be the next right after the exit. We cannot find it. But we do pass a castle with a real draw bridge, so hey, not all is lost. I stop at a gas station and call the man in frustration. I’m ready to give up this guinea pig hunt and go to Pet Smart. Why didn’t I do that in the first place you ask? Well, my daughter wanted a baby and it was only $10. $10 and $100 worth of gas and frustration. At merely $110, some might say a bargain.
7. The man stays with me on the phone, sensing my anxiety and my readiness to bail on this adventure. He guides me to his house. A curve, another curve, yet another curve, then straight on. He’s not a murderer. Or if he is, he murders with his cane. We are all relieved.
8. My daughter picks out an adorable guinea pig. We get in the car a bit delirious and happy. My aunt chalks it all up to a memory.
9. “Remember that time your mother went all over the place trying to find a guinea pig for you. She got lost three times and we were afraid we were going to be murdered? Those were fun times, weren’t they?”
