We canceled naptime for the past two days and bedtime has been a dream.

However, there are a couple of hours midday that are nightmarish.

She has her moments when she steals your heart. And, then you can’t remember why she made you so mad before.

It’s the magic of being two and adorable. Puppies have that same magic.

Sunday afternoon we left the last paci at my aunt’s house and we could find a spare in our black hole of vanishing pacis. We came home with a sleepy two year old who took a nap without much protest about the lack of it. I was hopeful that we might be able to rid ourselves of it before the infamous 3 year mark that’s typical in our household.

That night, I had to rock her to sleep, but she slept all night without asking for it. My hope grew.

(This pink paci will surface in a few days and probably blow my plan to pieces. She had this one and another pink one last Friday. They both mysteriously disappeared.)

Monday I had to rock her at nap time and she was very fussy. But I didn’t give in. Even when we found a rogue paci in a drawer.

(Yes, the paci addiction is probably more mine than hers.)

Then today, her nap time got pushed back. She was super, super cranky and, I gave in. I slipped a paci in her mouth to stop the fit and it worked. She went right to sleep. Before I totally blew it, I crept in her room and popped that sucker out of her mouth while she slept and hid it again.

(Warning: Paci withdrawal may make you turn green.)

I’m not promising I won’t have a relapse again.

Those addictions are hard to break.

This quote rings true for me. Many nights I’ve rocked furiously and sang angrily until the song soothed my savage soul. Night time tests my patience. Little people won’t sleep, mommy can’t work. But when they are finally quiet, I love them tenderly again.

I sneak in for one last look and regret my angry song.

My mother taught me how to make scrambled eggs, a skill I still utilize every day. She taught me how to do housework. As much as I hated it, the Saturday cleanings she forced me and my sister to participate in were useful. She also taught me to love books. She never said no to the books I wanted from the Scholastic book forms I brought home and she took me to the library until I’d read every Nancy Drew book on the shelf.

Read more over here.

I feel like this card perfectly sums up my life.

Day after day with four loud, messy kids, doing school, juggling housework (very imperfectly), dealing with business, running around, learning and living my life, in the middle of it all zany begins to feel normal.

Then I go away and it’s quiet. I put my feet up. I read. I talk without interruptions. I get a manicure. I forget about zany.

When I come back home, zany is new. It’s loud and alive. It’s foreign and uncomfortable.

It’s demanding and unending.

But kind of cute and it starts to suck me in again.

What was zany starts to feel almost perfect again.

My one regret? That I didn’t get that free massage when I had the chance.