I’m not a good mother. Well there are those brief, God-filled moments when it seems like I’m doing things right, but all that’s really coated with sin too. I’m lazy is what it really comes right down to, and it’s much easier to yell across the room than be a parent.

I gave my two year old a talk yesterday. I talked to her like she was 13. I told her we had let this attitude problem go on too long. That her sassy mouth was going to have to change. I needed her to be kind and no more hitting. Then I said, “Do you understand?” And she said, “Uh, hu.” And my older daughters and I laughed because wouldn’t that be nice if that’s all it took?

And then I asked myself, how is it that I’ve forgotten how to parent a two year old? She should be the easiest and yet it feels like she’s running the show.

Here’s what happened, I dropped the ball. During a time when things seemed all rosy and good I quit parenting. I let the small fights go. I didn’t do anything when the baby started telling everyone to “Stop it!” because at first it was cute. Now it’s like I’m coming home from vacation to find that the kids had a huge party and trashed the house while I was gone. You know, like in the movies. The parents are always stunned, like they are surprised their kids would even consider doing something like that.

Time to pull on my parenting boots and slop through the muck. I’ve got some cleaning up to do.

I was reading a bible story to Milo (he’s six) today and once again those Israelites had turned to their idols.

“Do you know what an idol is?” I asked him.

“No.”

“It’s something we love more than God.”

“Does God want us to forget about him?”

“No,” I said. “He wants us to always remember him like you don’t want me to forget about you or I don’t want you to forget about me. You wouldn’t like it if I forgot I had you would you?”

“No,” he said and was quiet for a moment.

“Once I forgot about Nana.”

“You did?” I asked starting to giggle.

“Yeah, because she was gone on a trip for two days.”